Understanding Addiction: Part One

Lets talk about Rehab Centers

So, lets talk about rehabs. Many people have this theory that addiction can simply be fixed by sending their loved one to a rehab facility. If we lived in a perfect world, then rehab would be enough.

But unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world.

Now, before you misinterpret what I am saying, yes, I do believe that rehabs are important and most definitely a must. So, what I am saying is this. Most people have this idea that once they have sent or been to a rehab facility and have returned after completing a program at a center, that their beloved addict should now be healed and fixed of their problem. It is these families, wives, husbands etc. That are sorely misinformed. You see, some people think that once you leave a rehab facility that the addict in question will be able to jump right back into the same cesspool that contributed in some form or another to them becoming addicts in the first place.

Struggling with addiction recovery!

You see, recovery from any addiction, be it drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, eating and so on as the list can and does go on and on concerning all the things, we as humans can and do get addicted to. Small example, hand sanitizer, some people do get addicted to hand sanitizer. Crazy I know.

Now back to what I was saying, recovery from any addiction is a life time battle and this is something that sober people will never understand. “Normies”, as we in recovery call “non-addicted” people.

Supporting a recovering addict

Now normies will never understand the struggle that recovering addicts face on a daily basis to just stay sober. From the time we recovering addicts wake up in the morning till the time we go to bed in the evening, we recovering addicts have battle constantly with ourselves and our thoughts.

The main thing all addicts and families or loves ones of recovering addicts need to know and remember is this, a recovering addict needs to know he or she can communicate with the people close to them with out feeling like they are judged. Communication is key to any recovery process.
Now, the next thing family members or loved ones need to know is that they need to do research into addiction. Go to some open N.A or A.A meetings to hear some other story’s or Google, Google is a wonderful thing and a special kind off tool. Research and find out all the different types of commonly used drugs and research the affects and withdrawal symptoms and such of each substance.
Finally, tough love. You as the family member need to be aware that tough love is a must and very important and that is meaning consequences of their actions. For example, if they have a car that you have paid for, take it away and let them work for it to earn it back. If they go to the shops for you, the correct change and slips MUST be presented, if not, they MUST be held accountable. Regarding social media, Facebook for example, sit with them and go their friends list and get rid of the people they use to drink or use with and so on and so on. Then for the first few months after recovery, if they want any access to social media, they need to do it under supervision.
Everything we as addicts had free access to needs to be earned back when we start recovery. Remember, recovery is hard but addiction, addiction is easy.

Now, biggest mistake family’s or loved make with addicts coming into recovery is thinking that alcohol is ok. Please note, alcohol is NOT, ok.

The biggest justification I hear in this line of work I have chosen for myself is this, I am here for drugs or gambling or sex or whatever, but they will tell that because they are only in rehab for drugs as an example, they can still leave rehab and drink.

Well, it is this precise thinking that has gotten a lot of family’s and such regretting their actions because of this thinking that alcohol is fine, its ok.

Alcohol is a drug

You see, what a lot of people forget is that alcohol is and has been the legal drug destroying family’s and community’s for centuries.

Remember, alcohol is a mind altering substance and as an addict, your mind or should I say, our minds are our worst enemy.
Just one stinking thinking thought can through us into a downward spiral.
Stinking thinking, ex: “I haven’t used for such along time, what is one going to do. Only one”. OR, “Its been awhile now, I can use successfully”. OR, “Its only one”…
That my friends is the biggest killer because all it takes is “JUST ONE”, and BAM, back where we started or worst…
R.I.P

Battling with a week mind in a sober state is bad, imagine struggling with that mind in an intoxicated state, it is impossible…

Now in ending this little story of mine, I would like to once again state that everything I have written here today is my opinion and my opinion only.

Tough Love & Consequences

I want to go back to the tough love and consequences part of the story. We as addicts coming into recovery need to know that you as the family or loved one are completely serious and that you are done with their behavior and miss deeds. This can and will be hard for parents, but for your health you need to be tough or you will be dragged down with them.

The final and last ultimatum you need to give and stand by this time round (no jokes now), is that they, the addict, need to know that if the addict in question messes up and steps out of line again, that they need to know that they are then on their own.

This as I mentioned is tuff, but as a parent once said to me, “I would much rather go to my sons funeral than see him kill himself slowly” …

If you as the family member or loved one don’t start sticking by your guns as they say and mean what you say and not have empty promises, they are more likely to recover than stay sick.

TAKE AWAY THE SAFETY NET…

Now finally I have this to say to all family and or loved ones of recovering addicts, and this is what I have to say.

…. THINK ….

I say this because sometimes it’s the actual home life that causes a relapse. The big party’s at home with family or friends getting drunk and loud and so on and just this, that braai, that you think is all innocent could, can and has been a trigger for many of us recovering addicts. And then, the family asks “WHY”, why did they relapse and in the meantime, you and your INNOCENT BRAAI was the cause.

So, family, friends, loved ones and others, please, get involved with your recovering addict’s recovery and show them you care and want to be involved with them. And remember, THINK, what might be ok for you, might not be ok for them as recovering addicts.

DON’T BE THE LOADED GUN THE RECOVERING ADDICT DOESN’T NEED…

This is just a thought from someone who has been there, & back, got the t-shirt, smoked the t-shirt & did his time.

RECOVERY IS HARD, ADDICTION IS EASY

CHOOSE, BUT EXCEPT THE CONSEQUENCES

AND THIS GOES FOR FAMILY’S TOO

WHAT IS ADDICTION